Tears..

Her crying pulled a string somewhere, unable to place it. She sounded confused, wanted to say something she couldn’t, may be because of the people around. Her inability to express herself made her cry more than the pain. I know how that feels. Consoling a crying person, that’s something I always find very difficult to handle. Most often we give a reason for crying but it’s just a reason. We cry to express pain, physical or mental, but often it’s a pain, we’d rather not talk about, makes us feel vulnerable. So, we give a reason that to us makes us look reasonably less weak. She was laughing with me one moment and then she was crying, I think it was the disbelief in my voice. That probably hurt more than the pain. Its scares me when someone calls out my name while crying, makes me feel guilty, like I was dying, letting her live by herself or I was living, letting her die by herself. Don’t know which would be worse for a person. I don’t remember crying at a death. I was either surprised or ashamed or angry, or all of these, but I never cried. I’m not immune to crying though, I do cry.