And the memory remains...

Ashutosh had come to Kausani 6 years back. He had done a course in travel and tourism from Calcutta University, had come to Delhi, and found himself a well paying job in Kutub Enclave. He worked there for 3 years before he found everything confusing. That's when he left Delhi, took a train to Kathgodam, and went back packing for 2 weeks, till he reached here. He emailed his resignation to his manager on the 3rd day of his stay here. Next, he started looking for accommodation in the villages nearby, till he found a room in a village near Pinnath. It had an attached bath and the landlord provided him with two buckets of hot water every morning. He found himself a job at Negi Tours and Travels, one of the many local tourism offices. He worked there 6 days a week, from 9 AM to 6 PM. He had to talk to the foreign tourists and make arrangements as per their requirements. They paid him 2000 rupees a month and the owner was his landlord's cousin, so the rent of 500 rupees was paid by Mr. Negi, the owner of the shop. Ashutosh had never asked for a raise or a promotion and was considered an asset by Mr. Negi. Everyday Ashutosh left his home at 6 in the morning, Walked to Bagheshwari bridge, had a cup of chai at Raju's tea stall, waited for the sun to rise and then sat at the nearby bench and read one of his books till Mr. Negi's car picked him up on the way to the office.

That morning, Ashutosh reached earlier than usual, the dogs followed him to the tea stall, where he bought them biscuits. Raju bhaiji's "Ram Ram sinha saheb" was as refreshing as his chai. He ordered for a chai and lit his filter less Charminar. Three drags later he realized that his sore throat was getting worse and he made a mental note to get himself checked at the local clinic during his lunch break.

Shobha had been standing at the bridge for some time when she heard the cough from the tea stall. It reminded her of the one person she wished was here with her. The last she had heard of him was that he had gone absconding from office while she had gone to visit her sister in Bokaro. She used to call him a '60 year old' because of his constant cough. She looked back to see who was coughing but, she couldn't see any faces in the fog. She was surprised to feel Ranveer's cold hand on her's. "Isn't it a beautifull morning love". She nodded. "You're angry about the phone call, aren't you? Well, they had been trying to call me since last evening, they can't trace a particular folder on the common drive. It was important baby". "Where is Tinni?", Shobha asked. They both looked back and realized that Tinni was talking to somebody at the tea stall. "I'll get her", she said and walked towards the stall.

As she reached the stall, she heard the cough again and felt a shiver run through her spine. She couldn't have been wrong twice. "So Tinni, where are you from?", she stopped on her track when she heard his voice. He had his back turned towards her. He followed Tinni's glance, and their eyes met. He had lost a lot of weight and mustn't have shaved for months. His hair was shoulder length, but his hairline was receding. The silent 'hi' was accompanied by the familiar upward nod of his head, followed by the smile. She had put on a little weight, but the youthfulness of her face was gone. She wasn't smiling, he noticed the little movement going down her throat. She was as strong as ever. "How have you been?" she asked, he said, "She looks a lot like you", at the same time. That made her smile. The familiarity suddenly disappeared from his face and he said, "Your daughter wanted to know if they sold chewing gums here". Shobha realized Ranveer was standing behind her. "I hope she hasn't been bothering you", he said with a smile. Ashutosh realized that he was a handsome man, her type of a guy. He smiled back, " not at all, she is a darling. Why don't you guys join me for a cup of chai? The best you will find around here". "Not today, maybe tomorrow morning, our taxi would arrive any time at the hotel", Ranveer replied before Shobha could respond.

They walked back towards the hotel, as they walked, both Shobha and Tinni looked back, almost together. Tinni waved at him, Shobha just glanced. Their similarity goes beyond just looks, he thought.

He remembered their conversations, about marriage and family after he had moved into her flat in Sector 62 in December the year they met. It was the coldest December, Delhi had ever seen, but for them, it was the warmest they had ever felt. It was her uncle's flat. They lived there for almost a year, he had to move out every time someone came to visit her from home. He would stay with his friends whenever Shobha's parents were in Delhi. She always wanted a son and he wanted a daughter. It was in August next year when they realized they had drifted apart. She asked for time out, he had agreed. They had stayed close, missed each other, met up, but things never got back to what it was, the way they had expected it to. After a while, it became official, they both started seeing other people. but, he always felt restless and called her up whenever he could find a reason.

It hadn't been very different for her. She had expected him to say 'no' when she had asked for time out, it was her way of saying she needed more attention. She was hurt and wanted to get over him, she socialised with others, trying to forget him all the time. She was asked out by many, and every date she went out on, made her miss him a little more. She told him spiced up stories of these encounters, to make him feel jealous, but he seemed to have moved on. Later that year, she went to stay with her sister for a month before her sister's delivery, wasn't in touch with him for the period. When she came back, he had vanished, nobody knew where he was. Six months later, she met Ranveer, he was in the Army like her dad. He was a handsome man and charming too. Her parents approved of this match, they liked him too. They were married by the end of the year. Tinni was born a year later. The bundle of energy and love had kept her busy, she thought she had forgotten all about him.

Ranveer had booked a cab to take them to Almora and then Binsar. They would come back at night, and leave the next morning for Ranikhet. It was a beautiful day and Tinni was super excited. Shobha played the Jim Morrison playlist on her iPod and found it difficult to hold off the tears. She remembered the times, he would sing 'Break on through' in the middle of the night for no apparent reasons. "The Jim Morrison Euphoria", he called it. All those and many more memories seemed to go perfectly with 'the lizard king' singing in the background. She couldn't wait to go back to Kausani. She had to see him one more time, speak to him, ask him what he's been up to, find out whether he was married. He must have been, it's been a long time, and he couldn't live without women for long. Was his wife pretty, she would like to meet his wife? "Mamma, why are you crying?", Tinni brought her back to the present. "I'm not beta, I think something must have gone into my eye". "Driver saab, gaadi roko", Ranveer said, "why don't you wash your eye sweetheart". "I'm fine Ranveer. Aap chalaate raho", she said to the driver. They reached Almora in four hours, had lunch there and moved on to Binsar. It took them an hour to reach Binsar.

Once the ancient capital of the Chand Raj kings who ruled in the 7th and 8th centuries, Binsar is a beautiful place. There is solitude, and that's what she needed right now. There is no village or hutments there, it’s just a forest reserve at 2400 mts above sea level. From where they stood, they could see all the major Himalayan peaks, like Nandadevi, Kedarnath and Nandakot. They were all snow capped and seemed very close. The driver was showing them each of those peaks, it was informative, but she just wanted him to shut up, she wanted the whole world to shut up. She suddenly realized what had happened. He must have come here, fallen in love with the peace and stayed over. Oh! How they had planned to run away to Ladakh and live there in tent when he had told her about the beauty of the place. If only she had let him execute those plans, she wouldn't have been where she was in life. Tinni wanted to go on top of a tower that was erected there for tourists to get a complete view of the Kumaon region. It looked dangerously high and she knew she couldn't climb up that high. She asked Ranveer to go along with the driver and Tinni. She realized, Tinni wouldn't have been there if she had run away to Ladakh. Tinni had kept her going all this while and was her life, nothing was more important than her and nothing would be. She looked up to see how far Tinni and Ranveer had climbed. She felt dizzy when she realized the height they were at. He would have teased her about her Vertigo, saying it was just another one of her 'grand statements'. She smiled to that thought.

The drive back seemed longer, both Tinni and Ranveer had gone off to sleep. The IPod had got discharged and it was getting too dark to read. She just looked out of the window and lost herself to her memories. She would go down to the bridge again the next morning. What was the worst that could happen? He would say he is married and has children, he loved his wife and children a lot and was very happy with life. She could live with that, she always wanted him to be happy, wasn't that what love is about?

They got back to the hotel, she wasn't hungry. Ranveer ordered food for himself and Tinni to the room. They went to bed early. The cab would come at 7 in the morning and they would leave for Ranikhet, stay there for three days. She was thinking of what she would tell him when they met. Whether to tell him how miserable she was with her marriage or just tell him how lucky she was to have a husband like Ranveer and a daughter like Tinni. The Tinni bit she knew was more than true, but if she told him the truth about her marriage and he responded by saying he was happy with his, it wouldn't sound nice. She decided she would ask him to stop smoking, his cough had gotten worse. She felt a foot nudging against hers. "I'm tired and you'll wake Tinni up, you need some sleep too" she whispered to Ranveer. "Always a spoilsport", he turned away from her. She put her hand around Tinni and tried to sleep, she had to get up early.

It was foggier than the previous morning. She was waiting on the bridge, waiting to hear the cough before she could move towards the chai wala. In fact she waited for him to walk up to her, and was looking out towards the river, but all her senses were concentrating on any movement behind her. She looked at the watch, it was 6:30, Ranveer would have got up and would come down any time soon. She turned around and looked at the tea stall. She couldn't see anything through the fog. She walked over to the other side of the bridge, went to the stall and asked the chaiwala for a cup of tea. She looked around and realized he wasn't there. Thinking she was looking for a place to sit, Raju offered her a seat. "First time to this place?", he asked. She nodded her head. "How do you like it here", he continued. "It's a beautiful place", she wanted to ask him about Ashutosh, but didn't know how to start and Ranveer would come any moment, she would never get this opportunity again. "How do you know Ashubabu, thought I heard you both speak yesterday", that one took her by surprise. "We were colleagues, while he was in Delhi, how long has he been here?". Raju made a clicking sound with his tongue, " sad, what happened to him, he has been here for god knows how long, and he has had that cough of his, ever since he came here". She found herself out of breath, just stared at the chai wala, waiting for him to finish what he was saying. "I had asked him to see a doctor but, he never listened. He had been coughing blood for some time now, yesterday he had gone to work from here, and there he had coughing fit. They say he choked to death, he was good man". She turned away from Raju, the tears blurred her vision, she didn't realise that the approaching figure was that of her husband.